Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize