so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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