I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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