We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
