the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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