Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
