I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
