..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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