is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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