If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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