..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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