How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
