omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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