READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he thought i was a dude.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
