I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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