every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It was confusing and full of hummus
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
