i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
