She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize