Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
