i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
