a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
