Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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