it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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