It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
