I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
