Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
