You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
