i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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