the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
