i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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