He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
