I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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