**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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