we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
