do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
