she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
