He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
