It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
