yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
