so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
