evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
