No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
