i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
