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The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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