i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
