I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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