garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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