Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
