I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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