I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
