booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
