So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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