My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
