dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
