the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
we should paint friendship bongs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
