So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
