??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
4 words: hood of his car
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
