he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
